go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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