So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She even gives head with a lisp.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
