Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
