Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
