You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
