That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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