We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
