brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
