you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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