Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
