he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
