You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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