I CAN MOONWALK!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
