just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
