i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
