I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
