is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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