It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
