I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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