Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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