paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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