My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
