He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
