your thong is hanging out like whoa
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize