No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
