It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
even my farts smell like vagina
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
