Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
