she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I believe in your delicious
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
