I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I am mentally ready for anal.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
