Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
