i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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