i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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