youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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