ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
