Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
