the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
