I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
there's paper in my vomit.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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