I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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