the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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