I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
