I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
