ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
