That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
