Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
