I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
