She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
