i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
