I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I would fuck him just for his dog
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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