so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
