Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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