Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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